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To be honest, I have let my manners lapse. I remember once in college when I was out with friends (some of them ladies) and I held the door open for one of the ladies - and she admonished me for doing so. I think this is when I gave up many of my more traditional manners. Despite the admonishment, I still refer to ladies as Ma'am, and my seniors as Sir and Ma'am. I don't stand up when a lady enters, I don't stand up to shake hands - but I always felt awkward when I did stand up, or adhere to the more strict tenants of general polite behavior. Here and now, reader, I pledge to be more polite in my behavior, as I read this quote earlier on one of my favorite blogs, Social Primer:
In this age of rampant rudeness, you would think the presence of masculine grace would be appreciated. We will stand up when you walk into the room. We will hold the door for you to pass through. We will walk on the curbside of the street. We will even offer you our jacket to stave off an evening chill. This is what we do. This is our role and one we feel comfortable being in. So please, for the love of Pete, don’t take that away. If you want the courtesies and benefits of polite society, cut a brother a little slack in the deployment of ma’am, Ma’am.
So, if I stand up when someone enters a room, or say ma'am, or hold the door open, please just respond with the good social grace I showed to you, and together we might just make our society a bit kinder.
I am a feminist and I don't get why feminists get annoyed with someone for holding the door open for them. It isn't just because you are a woman, it is just polite to hold the door open for the person behind you. Plain manners. Plain simple.
ReplyDeleteWhen I don't get a response to someone who I have held the door open, I very clearly tell them "You're welcome!" It doesn't cost anything to be nice. I don't understand why this is so hard for people.
Love the new site, btw!
Lauren - I completely agree with you about the open door situation. I always hold the door open for people - man, woman, child - and I expect others to do the same for me. It is called manners. Learn them, love them, people. Also, thanks for the site comment!
ReplyDeleteJason - Also, yes, the site is looking good! I checked it on my work computer this morning and it looks great here, too. The nesting is still awkward but it isn't a major issue. We did good!
I concur with the general consensus - I'm definitely not offended by any form of door holding or general kindness. When I was down south earlier this summer, it was so nice to see and experience traditional manners - it was almost shocking! I kept waiting for the punchline. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the new site input - glad to hear it works!
ReplyDeleteI am a big fan of equality, but to me it just seems polite to hold the door open, say "ma'am" and "sir," and really to do all of the things I mentioned in the post. If I do these things, it's not me saying that others are inferior or unable to do these things for themselves - I am just showing them the same respect I would like them to show every one else.
I do the same thing when people don't say thanks! Ha!
Yay for site working! I figure that if it works up there at the K AM, then it should work anywhere. Ha.
ReplyDeleteHaha. Glad you saw some manners in the South (I don't know if I would quite count Texas as the South) because it seems like they are even going away in the more (for lack of a better word) traditional places in the country. It seems that people don't care anymore - but I am very happy to hear good manners are still in the South!
ReplyDeleteWell what about HATS? Am I the only one left in the world offended by the wearing of hats indoors and/or backwards, not to mention one fourth of the way round the head so the bill function is rendered just as useless as when backwards? Some might say it's a statement of fashion or style. To me, it's a staement of just how stoopid is it possible to make ones self look to the rest of the world? I am embarrassed for them being so proud of their stupidity. Some might tell me to chill out about such trivial matters but as one who believes lessons are to be learned from history I am sure that the fall of the Romans and Greeks began with "trivial persuits".
ReplyDeleteGreat job on your blog site. You have inspired MJ.
Speaking of stoopid... The sentence should have read "To me, it’s a statement of just how stoopid one can make ones self look to the rest of the world."
ReplyDeletePlease pardon my typos. That's what I get for pointing fingers.
Haha, thanks for commenting, Larry! I know exactly what you mean about hats - I am not entirely sure why men feel so compelled to make the baseball cap a full-time piece of their wardrobe - and then they never take it off! I was always told that you take your hat off when you go inside. I think the thing that surprised me about Fort Worth was that with the preponderance of cowboy hats worn here, that the men wearing them would take them off indoors - and especially at dinner! That's just not the case, and I don't get it - take those things off at the table!
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